Between Clever Lines

Here's the conclusion I've come to. Living your life afraid to get hurt? Isn't worth it. You miss out on all of the good things doing that.  What you have to do is take the times he called you beautiful, that time she put her arms around you and danced to your favourite song, the roses he bought you for your birthday, and you need to put those memories somewhere no one can touch them, not even the people who created them. And you need to remember that once, you were loved. You were loved so much that one person couldn't handle all of the love and it had to be shared between two people. And you deserved that love.  And when she leaves or he says he regrets it, you protect the good memories and lose the rest. You deserve the beautiful memories, but you never deserve the slamming door or the click at the other end of the phone line. So you make as many good memories as you can, and then you save them. And that's all you can do. 

            Sometimes, I get so involved in the lives of others that I forget how to live on my own.  I share my hurts with my friends, but I forget to let myself actually feel them, to just sit still and breathe and acknowledge that yes, this hurts.  Very much, in fact.  But that’s okay.  That hurt means I’m alive and it means that I had something that I cared about enough to miss.  And I’m lucky because not everyone ever has something that important to lose.             I need to learn to be my own person, even when I’d rather be have someone else around.  I need to realize that it’s okay to be in my own headspace sometimes.  I don’t need another voice around at all times to tell me I’m okay.  I’m making that time for me to be alone.  Well, alone with Taylor Swift and Ben and Jerry.  Hey, a girl has to have her ways of coping, right?  ...