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            I want to dye my hair again.  I think maybe turquoise this time.  I’ve had the turquoise dye under my cabinet for forever, but there’re a few reasons I haven’t dyed it yet.  For one, I don’t want to be that girl, the one who dyes her hair just because she’s heading off to school and can reinvent herself.  I also didn’t want to have dyed hair during the high holidays while I was at synagogue.

            But I had a conversation with Cece today about what’s probably the real reason: The Manic Pixie Mythos.  When I had purple hair, people looked at me differently.  They thought I was quirky, interesting.  Just because of the color of the tips of my hair.  Isn’t that odd?  And I didn’t want people to think I was a manic pixie.  I didn’t want to feel like I had to live up to my hair.

            But days like today are the days I want to escape into my inner manic pixie dream girl.  I want to dye my hair again and tell some guy that the Shins will change his life and read poetry by authors no one’s ever heard of and be cool and detached.  I want someone to fall for me.  I want to be put up on a pedestal, because there, no one could touch me.

            Sometimes I think it would be comforting to be a manic pixie.  I wouldn’t have to talk about my feelings.  I wouldn’t have to worry about if a stupid guy liked me.  I wouldn’t care. 

            And then I remember that I’m me.  And no matter how much I want to hide and want to pretend I don’t have feelings, I do.  I have too many of them and it gets hard, but escaping as the manic pixie is a cop out.

            I met a boy today and he told me I was interesting. 

            I think I will dye my hair.

Here is a link to the video that inspired this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ypDb5H2ew0